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Cape Town, South Africa

The mountain, the sea, our dogs, garden, house, bed, pillows. Ceramics, Nespresso, sleeping late, my clothes (I have such a lot!). Wearing shoes, the smell of clean laundry, the quiet at night, whole wheat toast with avocado pear, soaking in a hot (clean) bath, thick freshly laundered towels, double ply toilet paper, a cup of decent tea. Fresh flowers in the house, Swartkat cuddling up for a chin scratch. The South Easter, chatting to my Mom, a thick rump done medium rare with mustard sauce, full-bodied red wine, lamb with rosemary, sun-dried tomatoes and olives. Sea Point promenade, flopping on the couch, sleeping with the doors open and the sea breeze coming into the room, seeing my friends. To speak Afrikaans, laugh, to think back. These are but a few of the things that make being back so special. So many people ask me “how does it feel to be back?”. I have no idea. I do miss the walking – sitting is very difficult. I miss the solitude. “Has anything changed?”. I don’t know – you tell me? I am not quite sure what people expect to see or hear or find – a new me? It will need more than 617 kilometers to change my personality. Walking on the promenade I cannot help to hear snippets of conversation as people walk past me. These are a few I heard this week: “she should really stop taking that medication”. “If you sell that farm, you are never ever going to be able to buy something like that again, stick it out, things will change”. “She is not happy, everyone knows that”. “Trust your gut, that is all you can do” – and so on and so forth. I watch the stress, the anxiety, and I want to go to everyone and tell them to just keep on walking. A lot further – like 600 kilometers and your conversation will change. That high pitch in your voice, the neck muscles pulling like that, the edge in your body language. It will change. The question is, will it last? What would I like to have happened, seeing that I had no preconcieved ideas about the journey. What would I like to happen now? Nothing. Having experienced what I did was enough. I do feel a very deep sense of calm, I even tried it out in the afternoon traffic! May that last forever! THe unpacking has left a lot of space – the secret now I suppose would be how to fill that space. Or how to NOT fill that space. How to be mindful of what I take on board. Mindful. If I can keep being mindful I would be eternally grateful.

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